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Sunday, 29 March 2015

FOOD AND DOGS AND BEING MENTAL.



So this was posted today, PUBLICLY, on my PERSONAL Facebook account.

I'm going to be honest about how I felt about this because I think a number of people would pretend they brushed it off and that they are immune to any 'haters'.

Nope, I felt physically sick, and then I cried like a baby down the phone to my boyfriend who had to remind me that not everyone felt this way and that this one man, that I don't even know, doesn't matter.




I then shared this on my Facebook as a screenshot because of how frustrated I was that he'd post this, and then block me - so I can't even stand up for myself. Not that I would get anywhere with someone like this because posts such as these are only designed for one thing...

TO HURT.

We all need to remember, especially us BPD sufferers, that this is one person. One person whose behaviour speaks volumes about himself, and very little about the person it's directed at.


So what has come from this? He has gained about 40 messages in his inbox from people contacting him on my behalf, desperately trying to grasp what his intention here is. Note: I didn't ask them to contact him.


What else has he gained? Nothing.

What have I gained? Apart from an afternoon of very little work - the work that he was so readily wanting me to post... I have gained a WHOLE HEAP OF SUPPORT. I have had over 50 people either comment or personally message me their words of love and telling me to keep going. 

I then began to realise how lucky I was - not everyone has this support, and not everyone is open enough to admit when they have been hurt. If you too suffer from mental health problems then you know how much something like this can set you back - if it weren't for my incredible support network then I don't know what I could have done after reading that.

A personal attack such as that, completely unprovoked, on someone whom you know has mental health issues - well, I can't comprehend what good he thought could come of this. 

From my own personal experience, if he's getting that irate over someone's personal Facebook posts then he must have underlying issues causing him to overreact at something so harmless. It's not like I'm promoting ISIS or preaching hate towards a minority. I'm merely using social media as a coping mechanism.

This is something I've been meaning to blog about for a while.


SOCIAL MEDIA IS MY DISTRACTION TECHNIQUE.

I need to keep my mind busy, I also live alone a large amount of the time so it's my way of feeling less alone. It helps.

I've had people dig at me about how much I use social media. Well who cares? Is it hurting you? No. 
If you don't like what I post, then please unfriend me and be on your merry way.

Part of the reason why I'm so open about my mental health is because it's a sure fire way of weeding out the crap people and the negative leeches before they've become attached.

And then I don't have to have people around me where I'm finding myself making excuses for being who I am.


So on that note, I'm going to give a few of my reasons as to why I post about the things I do, and not just photography.



1) I'm not just a photographer. That doesn't define me.
If you want to solely follow my work then please go onto my business page, or my website: www.elspethvanderhole.com



2) Neither does my mental health define me, but I use social media as a distraction technique and I also share my own experiences to normalise mental health and make others feel like they aren't alone. 

Since tackling my issues in this manner, I have had hundreds of individual people message me, email me, text and call me. All kinds of people - ones I know personally and many I don't. But they are fast becoming people I do know personally because they are the kind that I want in my life. The loving, empathetic, beautifully souled creatures of the world. 




3) I do not "keep with up the The Jones'."

If you don't like that I don't post things to keep other people happy, and I just use my own mind to share things about myself that I want to share, then please go away.

I know I'm not perfect, and I like that. 
I don't like people that pretend to be perfect, because we all know that no one is.




4) I post a lot of photos of my dogs because they are my family and my lifesavers. 

Bear is named after a teddy bear that I gave my father when he was dying.

I saw that he was becoming twitchy when he was finally put onto his morphine drip and I remembered that when my gran had Alzheimers she was soothed by the comfort of a stuffed panda. 

My boyfriend used to come round with flowers for us all every time he came over, but this time he came round with a bear for me. I gave it to Dad.

He sat it up on his chest and his disorientation became calm.

He kept it with him until he died, and I still have it with me.

I named Bear after both this teddy and this moment. As a reminder that no matter how bad a situation, there will always be that one moment of calm and comfort. That's what he symbolises.

Snow symbolises new beginnings for me. I got her just after I halved my medication for the first time, and when I began to felt like I could face life again.

If it wasn't for these furry little babies of mine, I am 99% sure I would have killed myself, or at least had a good attempt at doing so, a long time ago. 

They give me something to live for.



5) FOOD, DOGS AND SILLY VIDEOS IS WHAT EVERYONE ON SOCIAL MEDIA SHARES. MORON.

6) SHUT UP.

7) HERE'S SOME MORE PHOTOS OF MY DOGS.










p.s. kiss my emotionally unstable ass.

<3